08
Oct
09

let’s bomb the fucking moon

atriptothemoon1902
NASA To Bomb The Moon

I’m sure you’ve all heard by now, but let’s just take an extra moment to revel in that headline. “NASA To Bomb The Moon”. Ahhhhh. Feels good, doesn’t it? A kind of swelling in your heart, perhaps the sting of tears welling up in your eyes? It makes one proud to be an American (assuming you are American- if not, tough luck, maybe your country can bomb the moon some day). This is undoubtedly the most awesome science news of the year. This will help you figure out how to watch the moon-bombing live; here are some locations where you can go to watch with other people. Sadly, none of them seem to be near where I live. Nevertheless, I am super, super psyched that we are bombing the moon.

Which brings us to this Huffington Post article. I notice that the article is tagged as comedy, and so I will say that hopefully this is a satirical piece. If so- well done. You certainly fooled me. I’d like to believe this is satire, because this article is one of the most staggeringly ignorant anti-science pieces I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading.

“The size of the explosion will be equal to that of 1.5 tons of TNT and will release 772,000 pounds of lunar dirt into a 6.2 mile high spray of debris, NASA’S own version of shock and awe, in a purported experiment to see if any ice or water is released. I’m just wondering, who signed the paper? Who did the risk assessment? I mean, what if something goes wrong?

I’m guessing people at NASA did the risk assessment. Scientists usually spend their time calculating boring things like that.

“I could say something scientifically lame and ask, “What if it gets thrown off its axis?” or something funny and suggest something (that I actually sort of believe), like, “What if it somehow throws off the astrology?” Or that we’re not risking — as we have the earth with continued experiments of this kind — sending the solar system out of balance.”

UGH JESUS DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT

“The irony is that one of the purposes of the experiment is to assess whether there is any water on the moon and is it worthwhile to send another manned mission to the moon. If we’d just send up two guys with a bucket and shovels, we wouldn’t have to bomb the moon at all.”

Yes, we could risk the lives of two living human beings (and I assume that manned spaceflight is significantly more expensive than sending a bomb into space), or we could risk harming no one and nothing. Either way.

“I’m not a big fan of explosions, anyway. In Iraq or Afghanistan or the South Pole of the Moon. But who does have a territorial prerogative there?”

This statement is so incredibly stupid it hurts me just to look at it. Where else aren’t you a fan of explosions? In the engine of your car? On the Fourth of July? On a movie set? Are you just against the concept of combustion in general?

“If we think there is water there, how do we know we’re not affecting some life form, as well? It sort of reminds me of two kids in a backyard with a firecracker that they don’t really know how to set off.

Except, you know, it’s actually the opposite of that situation. Two kids with a firecracker and FUCKING NASA are about as far apart, in terms of calculation and skill involved, as possible. Thanks for slandering our nation’s scientists, you moron.

“It’s causing great excitement in the astronomy sector. NASA is running a live broadcast on its website (wonder if they’re selling ads).”

I dunno, I wonder too. Maybe you could figure it out, since you’re writing a column about this. Or not, you could just throw that out there and create the idea in people’s minds that NASA is doing this as some kind of for-profit enterprise.

“Well, I for one, don’t like explosions. Call me a pacifist, call me cautious, call me an environmentalist, or call me something worse, I don’t really care.”

I’m glad you don’t care, because I’m going to be calling you much worse things every time I hear your name from now on. Oh also by the way being against this experiment doesn’t make you either a pacifist or an environmentalist.

The more I think about this, the more I’m convinced that this isn’t some terrible joke, and that this columnist is the living, breathing embodiment of a liberal stereotype as dreamed up by the staff of the National Review Online. Thank you, Amy Ephron, for cheapening the causes of science, environmentalism, pacifism, logic, and rational discourse!

BONUS:
Taken from Amy Ephron’s shitty “Save the Moon” twitter page!

“rt @valerieallenpr any one know what is going on with the fighter jets in SF today. @drdrew wants to know…”

Thanks for your question, Dr.Drew! It’s called fleet week, it fucking sucks, it’s all over the news, and you are a jackass.

Advertisements

0 Responses to “let’s bomb the fucking moon”



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


A MAN AGAINST INSANITY by Paul de Kruif.
The story of a doctor who conquered his own insanity and now shows others the way back, by the author of Microbe Hunters.
"An old master Paul de Kruif surely is. His latest book has pace, it has style, it has a sharply drawn hero, and, most important, it tells one of the great stories of our times." -Washington Post and Times Herald.

I found that in the back of a copy of Nova Express by William S. Burroughs.

My name is Alex and I live in LA the Bay Area.

Blog Stats

  • 84,097 hits

%d bloggers like this: