wait wait wait gavin newsom has an imaginary black friend??

Will Suliman Ashby/Stephen Akabar/Suleman Akabar Be Newsom’s Joe the Plumber?
Does Gavin Newsom really have a foster brother who’s been in and out of prison?

HA HA HA fucking hilarious!!! God I hope it turns out that Newsom just completely made this person up. This older SF Gate article, in which he mentions his “foster brother” is pretty full of great quotes from Newsom, too:

In reference to how selfless he is with money:
“I’ve given out more loans — God! I had some person from some magazine, she took $5,000 — never saw her again. She had such a compelling story, I felt horrible.”

That sounds like CASH not CARE, Gavin!

“Gavin had the privilege of traveling with us when we had an excursion. Not fancy ones. I took them on safari. Lions,” she explained. “And before that we went to Canada, to Hudson Bay, to see the polar bear denning — the first time people were allowed.”

Oh shit Newsom kicks it with black people, AND fucking polar bears!! Make this man Governor!!

“I apologize,” Newsom spits. “I gotta run a goddamn city.”

I’m the goddamned Batman!

“Not quite,” Hewitt says, eyeing the tense congregation gathered round. “OK, just so everybody feels secure, let’s hug and kiss.” They do.

Definitely my new go-to pick-up line!

Ahhhhh so much good stuff with Gavin Newsom. So much good stuff I couldn’t even finish the entirety of that ass-kissing SF Gate article. But be sure to check out Newsom’s new campaign website! It’s great!


2 Responses to “wait wait wait gavin newsom has an imaginary black friend??”

  1. 1 Jen
    September 16, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    Holy crap, that SFGate article was like reading the Onion.

    I can’t wait for the election to heat up. I’m kinda missing some good ol’ political schadenfreude. Lately it’s just super depressing.

  2. 2 rob
    September 23, 2009 at 2:59 am

    this grizzled old man is going to kick newsom’s yuppie ass: http://www.jerrybrown.org/

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The story of a doctor who conquered his own insanity and now shows others the way back, by the author of Microbe Hunters.
"An old master Paul de Kruif surely is. His latest book has pace, it has style, it has a sharply drawn hero, and, most important, it tells one of the great stories of our times." -Washington Post and Times Herald.

I found that in the back of a copy of Nova Express by William S. Burroughs.

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